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Horses for Heroes: A Grateful Heart
Maj. Erik F. Stoeckle, US Army (Ret), 100% Disabled Veteran
The Horses for Heroes (H4H) program holds a very special place in my heart. Designed for military service members wounded or injured in the line of duty, R.O.C.K. began offering weekly H4H sessions in May 2008. I learned about H4H through my officer association. Hopeful that the program could help me cope with my physical injuries and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I became a participant less than a month after this amazing program was launched.
After serving in the military for more than 15 years, I was medically retired from active duty, struggling to heal and suffering the loss of my career. The personal losses associated with my injuries were devastating. When I arrived at R.O.C.K. in June 2008, severe spinal injuries made it very difficult to walk. Even the most routine activities were very difficult. I was withdrawing from the world and had lost faith in God, giving up hope that things would or could ever get better.
I fondly remember Joan Schroeder, lead instructor for H4H, greeting me on my first day at R.O.C.K. I was in so much pain that they were reluctant to put me on a horse. Upon advice from my surgeon and Nancy Krenek, I reluctantly agreed not to ride in the beginning. But, very soon, I was introduced to Pokey, the horse that was to be instrumental in my healing. I learned how to groom and care for Pokey, and we soon developed a deep friendship that would have a profound impact on my life.
The Veteran volunteers were also instrumental in helping me to open up and talk about my experiences and my struggles. I was able to share thoughts and feelings with the Veteran volunteers because of our similar experiences. I am especially grateful to Veteran volunteers Rod Keene, Scott Thomas and Scott Sjule.
As my healing progressed, I began volunteering at R.O.C.K., doing office work initially. I started moving around better and slowly began helping out in other areas. Pokey and I grew closer, as well. He always seemed to understand; he knew when I was having a bad day and would comfort me.
I waited impatiently for my first ride on Pokey. It lasted only about 10 minutes, but felt as if I was up there for an hour. It was so peaceful and seemed as if time stood still, until Joan reminded me to “Breathe!” I guess I was so excited and overwhelmed by what I had accomplished I was bound to forget to do something. I eventually worked up to a maximum of 25 minutes riding Pokey, but it was the best 25 minutes I could have ever asked for. Joan knew intuitively that his gait was perfectly suited for my needs. With almost no lateral movement when he walked, Pokey kept me level, minimizing pressure on the titanium plates and screws in my lower back.
In the days after I was injured, I was understandably angry. I questioned why God would have me go through what I did. In hindsight, I realize that my experiences led me to R.O.C.K. - a place that I could never have imagined would become so important to me or allow me to be touched by so many people. My life would not be as rich and my heart would not have healed as much as it has without my R.O.C.K. experiences. The amazing horses, especially Pokey, Roma and Sherrie, and the young riders I have worked with, have inspired me to push forward and never give up despite adversity. I am also grateful to Heidi Derning, Joan, and Nancy for their guidance.
I am proud to have served more than 3,000 hours as a volunteer at R.O.C.K., not because I must, or because I have nothing better to do, but because I believe that there is no greater gift than giving your time to something you believe in and love. I also move around R.O.C.K. pretty quickly now, still using my cane, but walking with just a slight limp.
My experiences at R.O.C.K. and H4H turned my life around and helped me heal more than all of the other physical, occupational, and PTSD therapy combined. I am living proof that H4H truly offers Healing Thru Horses! I advocate for it any chance I get, so that others can experience and heal as I have.
I loved Pokey so much for saving me and opening his heart to me. His death this past fall was a great loss. Poke will always have a special place in my heart for helping this broken soldier heal! ROCK On!
